Where do I start…..2018 was a year of both sadness and joy for me.
Ravyn Kirsty Jones was born on the 21st of June 2018,however a month before her birth my grandmother passed away after a long illness. She helped to raise me from a very young age and I’ve been living with her almost my entire life.
This was a very difficult period in my life as I couldn’t really mourn her death as I had to think about my unborn child.
On the 20th of June 2018 I was scheduled to be induced as I was already over my term and booked at Netcare. Ravyn was born on the 21st of June 2018 at 01h50 by emergency C-section as she went into distress. The delivery went well and I was so relieved and happy to welcome our princess into the world. I however only got to see her 2 days after my delivery as I was not mobile yet but also not knowing that my baby was in NICU or that she was diagnosed at birth with Trisomy 21.
Between the days of me being in the ward and seeing Ravyn I had no idea that she has been diagnosed with Trisomy 21. This I had to find out on a rather unpleasant nursing round by one of the nurses when she came to do her ward rounds. Her comment brought my world to pieces as she said: “You know what , I also have a child with Down Syndrome and if I knew then what I know now I would have ended my pregnancy!”
Still trying to figure out what she meant and how this relates to my princess I only realized afterwards that she was referring to Ravyn. I was shattered. I broke down in tears and couldn’t get over what she said.
That morning when Dr came to see my husband and I in the ward, she confirmed the diagnosis. This broke me completely and I just asked Lord why always me? And the answer almost came instantly :coz you are a strong woman and I knew you would treasure my gift to you and I just told myself: Ravyn is part of me and no matter what I will love her unconditionally.
I only decided to see my baby on day two as I didn’t want her to feel my emotions. The morning of day two another nurse came to assist me to get out of bed for the very first time and oh boy did it hurt 
but I was eager to hold my baby.
When I arrived in NICU with my husband I saw Ravyn on the ventilator. We had an awesome Paediatrician and he sat me and my husband down and said all we can do is take one day at a time. Your baby is very sick and we are doing everything possible but please know she is in very good hands. Hoe hou ‘n moederhart dit? Die een Rollercoaster of emotions na die ander.
Ravyn was diagnosed with ASD,VSD,Pulmonary Hypertension and Congenital Pneumonia. I remember going into immediate silent prayer for my child and asked God to bring us through this!
When I was discharged Ravyn stayed for two weeks in hospital and I had to go feed her every day until she was discharged.
I think reality only hit me when I was alone with her at home and all kinds of thoughts went through my head and yes silent depression is real!I had so many emotions to deal with and if it wasn’t for my supporting family……I don’t know.
Today I can give all praises to my God. Ravyn is a bouncy three year old without ANY medical conditions. Although she reaches her milestones at a slower pace we are truly blessed. Everyone calls her their “Angel Child” coz she is the most adorable and lovable child. She is a very friendly child, loves giving hugs but refuses that you kiss her. She will rather blow you a kiss 
.
She is a comforter and sometimes when I’m down one look at her lifts my spirit and I can face the world again.
My children and husband are my world! Keith my husband, Ravyn my angel child and her brother Kayden.
To all the mothers out there who may face similar challenges I want to motivate you and say don’t let society’s negative view on Down Syndrome affect your ability to see the joy our children brings.
I want to end off by sharing the below: Down Syndrome is the innate ability to see the good and beauty in the world, to radiate joy and happiness, and to offer a unique perspective on life with the ability to change others’ perceptions.
Kindest regards,
Casthia (Cassie) Jones